About me: I love fashion.  I love funky, wild styles.  I will be the person who designs their own outfits and usually find unique things in thrift stores.  I love big gawdy and vintage jewelry.  I have a collection of vintage clothing that could probably serve as it's own store in the mall.  My outfits are an outward extension of expressing myself. I really do change my hair style and color all the time. It's been short, shaved, medium and really really long, blonde, bleached white, red (several shades of it), brown, black, black and fire engine red together, pink, purple.... When people try to sit down in my car, I usually hear them say "How is anyone supposed to sit down in here, you've got 500 pair of sunglasses all over the seat!" I usually like to drink cream with "a little coffee".  Something my grandmother Viva introduced me to when I was really little. She died when I was about 7 or 8. I've taken it that way ever since.  I love coffee though - Starbucks  downtown Orlando knows me well and know what I'm going to order every time I come in. I'm impulsive and usually have outrageous and grandiose ideas and dive into things without fear. Once I decide to do something, I do it and usually succeed. I give 500%. When people hear my ideas they usually think they are impossible, and when they see that I have done them and they worked they are awestruck.  Nothing is impossible with God is what I always say... I'm creative with many thing.  I love music. It is usually cranked really loud in my car.  I like all kinds, from classical, to classic jazz standards, oldies, the new stuff, and really really hard loud music.  I paint, I create, I write, and I love to cook. I usually cook from scratch without any recipes. I create my own. People are always asking for them, but I don't have them written down anywhere. People really do see me as "an artistic type".  That's the only label I've ever really liked and worn proudly.

Tell Me I've got a funny way of thinking And going about things I'm not an ordinary girl I'm just a little extreme I like to change my hair At least every other day I got 500 pair of sunglasses I like a little coffee with my cream And things like that But You tell me I'm OK And You like me that way I really like it when You... Tell me You love me Tell me You see me Tell me I'm OK Ok to be me It really doesn't matter to me What they say Cuz I know You're gonna love me Anyway Tell me You love me Tell me You see me Tell me it's OK OK to be me Everybody else can take me or leave me But I like what You tell me You tell me I'm alright with You (gimme some funky bass now) I've got a lot of silly notions And outrageous ideas But You always take the time to hear me out No matter how wild it seems I like to try on my emotions At least every other minute I'm one of those artistic types I always raise an eyebrow or two or three or four or five Yeah, You know what I mean But You tell me I'm OK And You like me that way I really like it when You Tell me.... I'm alright, I'm alright You tell me I'm alright No matter what they say Oh what do they know anyway Cuz You're gonna love me Yeah, You're gonna love me So tell me, so tell me, tell me Tell me I'm alright!   (Words & Music by Sonia Vannest - copyright 2004 Funky Vibrato Music/BMI )

Behind the Lyrics – “Tell Me”

    I know that I am not alone with my desire to be accepted for who I am, to just be myself, and with my wish that others would stop trying to change me and judge me for being the person I am and was designed to be.  When it comes to conservative circles, I’ve found the road to be a little bumpy as I’ve been know to be a little “odd” by anyone who has ever encountered me.  Some people find it inspiring, others are awestruck.  This has been my life ever since I can remember – I have been an oddball, stood out in a crowd, spoken my mind boldly, expressed myself in unconventional ways, been seen as different, “an artistic type”, and sometimes labeled “weirdo and freak”.  That’s ok.  I’ve come to accept those accusations with pride at this point in my life and realize that people in general do not know how to deal with things they do not really identify with or understand.  I’ve come to accept that my differences, though foreign to some, are what make me special and unique, and that I am not only “one of those artistic types”, but created and crafted by the ultimate Artist and Creator Himself, God Almighty.  I know that many other people feel this way too.  And what we want is to be validated, to be told we’re ok the way we are.  But people being people, are not as accepting as our Heavenly Father.  For my entire life, I have fought against the idea of conformity because it crushes the very spirit of who I am.  There is a time to unite.  But that’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about being free to be the being you were created and meant to be and not letting the negative forces in this world, or the people who bring those negative forces, sway you from knowing that you were created with a one of a kind design.  Still, we find that there are so many forces out there trying to destroy that very work of art God created us to be.   

    One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 139.  I have read it over and over
and over.    I’ve written many songs around it, using its phrases, and with it’s concept in mind.  It pretty much defends us as human beings - for being one of a kind, crafted by God who knew us, even our unformed body, and knew every day of our life before it came to be.  We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and we know that all of God’s works are wonderful.  There are many places in God’s Word that speak of His love for us.  I love to read those scriptures again and again because it reminds me, that despite the times when I feel rejected and unaccepted by others, that He will always “Tell Me” that He loves me, that He “sees me”, and that’s “it’s ok to be me” - the me He created me to be, even all the quirks and craziness!  I just wanted to express that in song, and that’s where “Tell Me” came from.  Because no matter what “they” say, “I’m alright” with Him.  He tells me so in His Word.  And that is good to know when so many things in this world try to bring you down and tell you you’re not good enough being you. 

I think that most people feel this way to some extent.  They want to be themselves, to be accepted by others, to escape judgment from others, and to celebrate their uniqueness.  The bottom line is that everyone wants to feel loved.  People will fail you, but God will never fail you.  He will never leave you.  He will always listen to you and your crazy antics, be with you through your dark times as well as your mountain peaks.  Most people aren’t capable of sticking with you during the darkest times of your life. I have experienced this all too often.  People are afraid when you’re “real”.  We as human beings long to be real, but at the same time, it scares us when we see others being real.  We don’t have a tidy little box we can categorize them in, so we start judging and tearing them down instead.  If we don’t understand or identify with it, then “there must be something wrong with it” is the mentality we take on.   

The Bible tells us to love others as we love ourselves.  Unfortunately, most of us do not even know how to properly love ourselves.  And because we are so critical of ourselves, it makes us feel better to be critical of someone else so that our flaws don’t seem so bad.  So instead of celebrating our differences, we try to make people conform to some uniform way of being so that “it won’t offend someone”.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that one from small minded, unyielding, unaccepting people who think they are doing good, but end up destroying more people than they realize.  They are doing the exact opposite of what Jesus would do, which is love people no matter what they do, no matter what they look like, no matter what they act like, no matter how many times they mess up, and no matter how long it takes them to come to His open arms.  His love is unconditional.

     When I lived in Rochester, NY, we started a church plant in the inner city.  It was a place of hope where anyone would feel welcome no matter what background they came from.  People could come as they were and feel comfortable.  Being on the leadership team, I got to see a lot of the feedback that came in on our response cards.  But also being close with our pastor, I learned a lot more about what people were saying about this new church.  My pastor told me something one day that made my heart soar.  There was a visitor who was hesitant to come to our church. He walked in and almost walked back out immediately – new place, unfamiliar faces, and not sure if he would feel accepted.  But he told our pastor that when he looked up at the front and saw our nice pastor wearing a nice suit, and then me on the worship team, all punked out like I am, that he knew “if this place can accept someone like that, then surely I will be accepted here.”  And he stayed.  He was able to meet God just as he was, welcomed in, no conditions, no finger pointing, no criticism.  When we try to change others into someone they are not, we are not only destroying their spirit, but become a hindrance to God’s plan for them and the work He wants to do in them and through them, to be used in a way that He has designed especially for them.  I am so thankful that my pastor had the wisdom at that time to accept me as I was, and to use me on the frontlines, despite how I looked, my style, and even my shortcomings.  Because of it, I was able to grow with the love and acceptance I received, and in turn, be used by God to affect someone else’s life in a way that was uniquely designed for me to do.  Our life experiences, likes, dislikes, passions, crazy quirks, knowledge, feelings, and yes, even our hairstyle, are ways God uses us to reach others, to share His love, and tell the world how much He loves them for who they are, and that HE designed them as unique beings for a reason.   

Before you misread someone, or draw conclusions about them, think about how much God loves that person, and that He has made them to be one of a kind, designed with a special purpose in mind.  If everyone was the same, it would be like one big canvas all painted the same color, void of character, uninspiring, and blank.  If God took the time for every intricate detail of the universe, formed flowers and bees to pollinate them, and seeds to fall and replant themselves, mountains, valleys, oceans, and seasons, then surely He meant to design people with that same creativity and uniqueness in mind.   

Whether you are meek or outlandish, you are special.  You have been created by the ultimate Creator.  Every thought on your mind matters to Him, “no matter how wild it seems”.  Don’t be afraid to be you.  Don’t worry about pleasing others or fitting in to some mold or image others say you have to be in order to be acceptable.  Know that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and nothing can separate you from the Love of God.